Though I said that I love him so much and really want to sacrifice all I've got to make it work, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it keeps me tired, and realize how powerless I am in this situation. Cannot touch, cannot speak directly. While you got all technology you needed, but it will never be the same. In the rare situation, helpless atmosphere, all you wanna do is be there, and even that simplest act, you cannot do. And that what leaves you in this situation, confused and silenced and wondered what might be different if we take different action, if we were at different condition, luckier one. I guess lucky doesn't apply to everyone. Sometimes to do nothing is all you can do, being an individual again, not two, as we always hope before. High praise to all people who can do this successfully, this all is hard work, very extravagant one. Who says love conquer all? It requires hard work, sacrifice, sincerity, hope. But maybe there is always hope. There is always a thing that I can do to support without being there. By not letting myself down. By being strong. It's hard to be a strong one in a relationship, but sometimes we have to man up and be one. So, here I am, take my best effort to be a strong one. For now. Until wheels spinning and I take my turn to be the weaker one.
After all, what doesn't kill you make you're stronger, right?
Until then, I love you so much. You know who you are.
PS. Damn you distance. Damn you.