October 31, 2008

OCTOBER

finally,

today is end of october

many changes happened
things went different
weird
strange
unusual
i felt lonely
alone
empty

needed an adaptation
and customization
made any excuses
unconfident
weak
careless

silly
stupid
naive

but..
i was learning.
life is learning, and i'll never stop.

that was october means for me..

unforgotten moment in my life,

October 28, 2008

Short Update : Black is Better

Tau situs Blackle???
search engine kayak Google gitu, tapi versi saving energy-nya..
alo kita pake Blackle, kita bisa liat di start pagenya berapa watt energi yang kita simpan, dan itu sangat membantu bumi lho!

nah udah lama gw tau tentang situs blackle ini, trus kemaren pas lagi blogwalking, ga sengaja baca sebuah blog yang nyebutin kalo website hitam itu lebih hemat energi! Warna hitam di layar komputer membutuhkan 59 Watt, sedangkan warna putih ato terang membutuhkan 74 Watt!

akhirnya gw ganti deh template halaman blogspot gw..yah, mudah2an aja ga ada yang komplain. gw uda berusaha agar tulisannya tetep kebaca kok..

lastly, mungkin dengan hal - hal kecil seperti inilah kita bisa membantu bumi.


PS.
oya..
away from my topic today..
i've been missing some people today. cant say how much i miss them. teguh, my partner, he was missing cz business, really miss time we've spent together. i learned a lot from him, and i dunno, when will i ask him to explain some new and amazing thing which makes me feel stupid (damn, he's so smart! i really envy him). vega, i heard you're sick, and you know i had spent many times, reminding you to have some breakfast. but you always skip it! sri, i really enjoyed our Smallville-time..remember,huh? cant wait to hear your noisy voice!
last semester in my college, i didnt have many times for hanging out with them, i seldom meet them, sorry i cant mentioned all of u, just be sure, ure more than writings in this blog. i love u more than that..

October 25, 2008

Love is Uneasy



Again, me, being trapped in very heavy traffic jam---on my way home---, makes me feel 'oh-so boring', so i decide to update my blog.
This morning, i received bad news from my bff. Really bad,cz she told me that she broke up with her boy. Dunno what happened, guess their relationship did well --- i know,cz i am their Miss Matchmaker --- although they had 'long distance relationship' and had had some quarrels, but i never took it seriously. I knew that they loved each other.
Hm, i tried to find out what's going on, but i didn't get clear explaination. My bff replied my message with only one or two words, i could feel she was desperately in sadness, and soon i felt it too. I almost decide to visit her in bandung instead of coming home. (I canceled it,cz i really needed going home).
She told me why her BF broke her up, but i thought it was unreasonable.

Why do some people think that 'love is uneasy'?
Why do they make everything become hard to lived,become impossible?

What am i thinking?
Love is easy,people. Love is quite simple and sweet. Never make it harder, never think how complicated it is, and you'll feel love is easy. If you love,just love,other feelings will come by itselves. Just love,and you'll find a commitment.
Just love,and you'll be more confident.
Just love,and you'll sacrifice.
Just love.
I could find perfect words to narate what i felt this morning. I found AGAIN someone who thought that love is uneasy.

PS.do i look so naive?mybe some people will think like that.

October 24, 2008

Arti nama..

Believe it or not..ini arti nama aku..

YULIA DELA DACREA
Mengandung Arti:
- Jalan penghidupan yang tentram, merdeka, bahagia dan sempurna
- Kecintaan dan kebahagiaan
- Kekuatan
- Pengampunan dan kemerdekaan
- Keteguhan, kebijaksanaan, pengaruh dan kekuasaan
- Kesempurnaan dan kebaikan
- Kemasyhuran dan pernikahan
- Kesesatan dan kedukaan


WHAAAAAT???

Apa maksudnya kesesatan dan kedukaan??

Buat tau arti nama kamu, klik disini ya..

October 23, 2008

Quarrel in the Morning (sebuah episode..)

fiuh..after waiting so long, finally.. i can use my mate's comp---fyi, my comp has no internet connection,sucks!---, and updating my blog. i'd like to tell you today.
it was ordinary morning, quite boring, until it happened.
(fyi, i'll use my mom's language, Indonesian ---thing that I avoid, cuz i really mean to write in english, so i can improve my english, although with lousy grammar,huhu--- cuz i think it won't be funny at all in english.)

jadi, seperti biasanya ni, hari gw dimulai di kalibata. buat nyampe ke kantor gw yang ada di pasar rebo, gw harus nae metromini (bisa no 640,64, ato 62)sampe pasar minggu, trus nyambung angkot merah S15. yup.. kali aja ada yang mau mampir,he. nah, cerita gw dimulai dari angkot S15---umm, juz little confuse, anybody know angkot in english??---. pas gw nae, angkotnya masi sepi, cuma ada satu mbak-mbak (ato ibu2 ya?) duduk di deket pintu keluar. nah, si ibu bawa belanjaan banyak banget dua keresek item gitu, dan barangnya ditaro di deket pintu masuk, jadi rada susah masuknya, but it's not a big problem for me. nah masalahnya, pas ada seorang nenek tua mau masuk. dia bawa barang lumayan banyak, keranjang yang digendong di punggungnya, trus dua keranjang belanjaan gede gitu. kira2 kayak gini lha tampangnya,,



yaah..kurang lebih lha..walo ga mirip2 amat. si nenek itu mau masuk, tapi susah, cz kehalang sama belanjaan ibu2 itu.trus si nenek ngedorong belanjaan ibu itu rada ke samping, maksudnya ya biar dia gampang masuk. eh..si ibu malah sewot.
beginilah kira2 percakapan diantara mereka.

ibu2 (i) : eeh..kenapa ni dipinggirin, saya mau turun di depan..deket kok!!
nenek2 (n) :yeeeh..bukan gitu..rada ke pinggir dikit napa?
(lalu hening sesaat)

n :yah..sekarang itu pada ga sopan ya sama orang tua, sama nenek2, nenek mau masuk, malah diomelin, mentang - mentang cantik, tempat di angkot diambil semua..

(dan gw pun berpikir, kayaknya ibu2nya ga cantik deh..heheu)

i : (dengan sewot) eh,nek!bukannya gitu! ga ada hubungannya sama cantik! (yee..dia GR,heheu), saya kan udah minggir dikit, tapi nenek tetep dorong2 beelanjaan saya!

n : (dengan tidak peduli) yaah..kayak dia mau bayar 5000 aja, padahal kan bayar sama, tapi angkot dikuasai..

i : (marah) nek! udah lah, sekarang kan saya udah nyingkir, ya udahlah diem! ga usah celoteh2 lagi!

n : (makin ga peduli) yah..orang kayak gini mah, susah dapet jodoh, paling bentar ya 3 taon lagi..ato 5 taon lagi..kasian calon suaminya, dibawelin trus tiap hari..

i : %*^*$%&$#GHG!! (maaf, ga bisa ditampilin, coz si ibu ngomong kasar banget!) udah,kiri!!Kiri,bang!

si ibu pun turun, dan akhirnya kedamaian pun tercipta kembali di angkot itu.
begini kira2 wajah si ibu itu..



maap, ga bisa nemuin gambar yang pas, tapi kira2 seperti itulah muka si ibu, tapi lebih muda kira2 5 tahun..

dan seperti inilah kira2 angkot yang gw naekin..tempat tragedi itu..




ga penting.

October 21, 2008

white...white..everyday in white..don't you feel a bit bored?

i adores white so much..i had lotsa white tees, although mum always didn't like it, cuz it would get dirty faster than ever.. (haha..sorry mum, but I washed my self, it didn't matter to me.. i just loved white, it was simple, cute, and honest color..

look, how gorgeous they are, wearing white..huhuhu..of course, i didn't looked like them.. =)



after all, after wearing white every day, five times a week ( oh yeah, actually 4th, but last week I hadn't know we used batik every Friday, so i still used my white shirt ), it become annoying..
So irritating! Everyday, using white shirt and black pantalon,it's peevish! I dunno why we can't wear another color, don't they bored if they must use same color on and on??
yeah..yeah...here,in my office, at PP (i think i haven't told you already), every employees must use uniform. Blue in monday and tuesday, grey in wednesday and thursday, batik in friday.
but, for OJT (on Job Training), like i do now, who haven't got the uniform, we must use black and white every time!! Every time! eeeRGH.. YOU WON'T BELIEVE, i felt a bit malice with tika, my roommate. last friday, when we went out to plasa semanggi, big discounts held in centro, and she bought everything she could see, and i just watched her with jealousy. the matter is didn't mean I couldn't afford it, but i just didn't know where would i used it, cuz i couldn't wear anything except white in my office!
she got 2 shirts.. i really loved purple one, 50 % from the excecutive!!! uuugh..sigh!
seems i must replaced my investment for bags and shoes.. let's see later,hehe..

i desperately looked for some cute batik there too, i knew i just could show up in friday (huks, but really didn't matter, sometimes we couldn't get things that we want to, right?), but y'know, i didn't find it! even just one! sigh, i knew batik season had passed, and it's time for line and square pattern --they're everywhere! mostly in oversize shirt design..--, but, please, couldn't I find just one??? I really needed one for my next friday, so i must not wear that peevish white again.
even i started to think that i would get my batik made off. it could better than desperately looked for something not in its era.

however..
i lacked my white's. should buy some asap..if this white era doesn't end asap, i guess, i'll full my cabinet with white. mum's true, i shouldn't crush on white, maybe it's feedback for me, cuz i didn't listen her at time.
can't wait for my uniform. give it to me please!

October 18, 2008

here i am..coming home now.
Seems my estimation of how busy i am,so i can't blog for long time,is a big no,no. Writing have been an addictive to me,it becomes one of my refresh method from all business,beside shopping,of course,he..
Knowing my cell phone afford my passion for writting,helps me much. I often open my blog from it,and write anything,even just a short note,or something unimportant.
Now,i am sitting on bus which taking me home. It's my first holiday after working whole week,i never feel so grateful of weekend,until now,until i know,how job can make us strongless..ha..
Bus hasn't going. Damn, i hate waiting,esp in messy bus like this. Often, i wondered why there's no good bus from jakarta to sukabumi. Many people come and leave every day,why don't they prepare some vip bus? One day,my uncle--he lives in Jakarta--told me there was vip jakarta - sukabumi bus,with AC (yup,with ac!imagine that!).but its passangers didn't obey the rules.they smoked inside.they made graffiti on seat and window.imagine how they messed up the bus.i didn't understand why it happen.all comfort is given for them,and they wasted it away.
I remember when i went to malaysia for training in university of malaya (edmat,remember?)
I tried many public transportation in kuala lumpur,bus way,sub way,mrt. i couldn't say they work perfectly,but of course --even blind man could see--they worked better than us. No jealousy,only a bit confuse. Indonesia is older than malaysia,according its independence day.i am sure we have good human resources too. We are rich too. You must have heard,in past time,malaysia imported many teachers from us. But,nowadays,they develop better than us in many way.
I do not understand,outta there,people's running away,
And we still crawling like a snails.
Oh,get to go,my bus ready to leave.

October 17, 2008

one day in office



yeaH.yeah..yeah..
if I make you bored, I really feel sorry, so don't bother to read this. it's only a short updates, not important, don't waste your time by reading my writing.
it's my 5th day on job, 4th day actually, remember, my 1st day???
I still bore, have no idea what to do, but luckily, my side-mates is going out now, so I can use her comp, writing this short updates. yipeee, finally something makes me happy, after repeating my complain on and on..

haha..you must think how dare am I, using comp for netting, in my work time, instead of finishing my work about precast ( I haven't learned it before, I don't know why my campus didn't teach us about it, precast is often used nowadays).
But I really don't care, I just want make myself relax here, although for a while.
Hiding from my boss, silly I know, but so excited, being here, and updating my writing.

Can't wait this afternoon!
Tika planned to ask me going out this night, and it will refresh me much, yup, hope so,, I haven't recognize this city for detail, but I really mean for investigating it deeper, hahaha.. one of my survive-reasons.
Can't wait for tomorrow!
I'm going to go home, see my family, see my home, see my room, all usual things, all ordinary things I've missed!! Haha, so dramatic, I know, but you'll never know how much you miss them, until you leave them. I mean it.
I'm going to fix my "kebaya" for my graduation day. I'm so excited, well..although I'll come only for my faculty's.
Hmm..sure you'll still read this?
it's only my personal note for today, nothing's special..
keep on thinking, what time is it, and how long til I can leave this place.

PS. I haven't taken some pics here. Hopefully, someday I can post it, so you can see my cubicle garden.

October 16, 2008

Life!

I am bored with life.
What should I do?

Kambing Hitam/black sheep?

Akhir-akhir ini gw merasa mudah sekali benci pada sesuatu.
Gw benci keramaian di Jakarta,always be crowded,never sleep city.
Gw benci suara klakson yg sahut-sahutan,padahal baru jam 7 pagi.
Gw benci suara sinyal palang kereta api yg banyak bgt terdapat diantara jalan gw dari kos ke kantor.
Gw benci udara kering disini yg bikin dekil.
Gw benci metromini yg kotor,dan supirnya yg sering ngebut.
Gw benci ibu-ibu yg lg ngobrol nyerocos di angkot.
Gw benci harus jalan jauh buat dapet angkot.
Gw benci sama pasar minggu yg beceknya setengah mati.
Gw benci kemacetan yg bisa bikin gw tua di jalan.
Gw benci harus jalan sendiri kalo pulang.
Gw benci makan malam sendiri.
Gw benci kota ini. I just don't wanna live inside here.

Tapi gw sadar,
Gw hanya mengkambinghitamkan Jakarta.
Buktinya,
Gw suka teriakan anak-anak waktu kuliah.
Gw suka bunyi klakson berisik angkot-angkot di Semarang.
Gw suka panas Semarang yg bisa ngebakar kulit,
Gw suka,bahkan ga pernah keganggu,sama gemuruh helikopter yg lewat di atas kampus.
Gw suka nunggu dosen sampe berjam-jam.
Gw suka jalan sendirian ke kampus (well,tapi kalo ada temennya lebih baek sih,hehe..)
Gw suka semuanya yg ada di Semarang.

The thing is..I am so lonely.
Gw ngerasa sepi.
I didn't enjoy all.
Makanya gw mengkambinghitamkan Jakarta sedemikian rupa.
It was my denial of loneliness.

October 13, 2008

Hari pertama

No matter how tough you are,sure you'll get nervous on your first job day..
This morning, I opened my eyes from my short term-sleep time. Today is my first job day. I saw my roommate,felt jealous coz she could sleep a little bit longer than me. It would better if I went back to my sweet dream instead of getting up and preparing all up for my first day.
But,of course,it didn't happen. I still woke up,took a bath,and arranged what kind of clothes which would I use today.

White shirt and black pantalon is okay, but it reminds me to my final paper presentation. I wore it too,and I felt nerd,so I put it down,and started to make another match.

Finally, I picked my black pantalon, but I matched it with my blue-flowery shirt. It had some simple ruffles, I thaught it was quite sweet,and wished that it would good enough.

I used my shoes, a pair of cute-kitten heels,with little bow accent in its corner. Weird, I had no trouble when I bought it, I've been trying it,and walked over and over. I swore there were no problems,til I used it this morning. Was it only my feeling or it really goes bigger than before?
I still wore this shoes,what must I do?
Although I felt uncomfort,tough.
Arrived at my new office,a shocking news came to me. We would get info for our replacement today! And we would go there, ASAP, TOMMOROW!
Whaaaaat?
Tommorow?
Hell no,no..please God,,I prayed..please,don't let it happen to me. I've been fed up with this moving thing!
No,no..I didn't want it did again.

They would tell us where would we stay at noon. Before that,we should have some medical test. Some annoying test,according to me,of course.
I hated injection. So much. But,whatever,they had to take my blood,so they did it.
Thanks for God,my blood was taken by a cute-cool-charming-yummy doctor! I didn't even sure he was a doctor,coz he was so young!

Hahaha,after few medical test,we got back to our office,and now..time to know where would we go..
Jakarta?
Surabaya?
Medan?
Haha.. I was so nervous,my heart beated fast..
Geez, I really wanted staying here,in Jakarta. Second choice laid on Surabaya..
But Medan?
Weew! Medan?Medan was so far for me.
Thanks,thanks,thanks God! I was replaced in head office. I still stayed here,at Jakarta. I didn't believe on my fortune. Hufs,thanks a lot God, 4jji SWT.

October 12, 2008

Edmat 31

Gatel gw pingin nulis lg!
It has already late here,it's almost midnight,but I am still awake. Tadi padahal ngantuk bgt,uda sampe ketiduran,tapi Tika dateng bawain nasi goreng dari Es Teler 77 (yg katanya dibeliin mas Anwar,thanks a lot mas!),dan gw akhirnya bangun buat makan,and..here I am. Crawling in my insomnia,dunno what to do..
Akhirnya gw mutusin buat nge-net bentar,browsing with my cell phone. Suprise! Waktu baca bulbo di fs,ada bulbo yg bilang kalo pendaftaran EDMAT 31 udah dibuka!
Waw..ga kerasa,it feels like yesterday,padahal udah 2 taon lalu gw ikutan camp yg sama,waktu itu masih EDMAT 29.
EDMAT which stands for Engineering Development Motivation and Training,merupakan salah satu program kreatif dari mahasiswa teknik Universitas Malaya di Malaysia. Idenya simple,like summer camp,it was about 10 days, and it was held for local and overseas universities.
Kebetulan UNDIP salah satunya.
Selama 10 hari,banyak bgt kegiatan yg seru!
Dari mulai seminar2x (self-motivation,how to sell ourselves,writing CV and cover letter,etc), public speaking, debat, outbond (they have beautiful lake for kayaking and facilities for flying fox!), fun games (start from puzzle game, game2 17 agustusan, sampe game detektif kayak conan!), charity (ngunjungin rumah sakit dan panti asuhan), city trip (I'll never forget when I was standing at the bridge of KL Twin Tower,it was windy,and the bridge was swaying over and over) and gala dinner.
It must be most precious moment in my life. Lotsa new friends, unforgetable journey,enjoy. At least, gw malah serasa ga mau pulang,he..

Liat pengumuman tadi,gw jadi inget aja sama masa2 itu. Kangen sama anak2 alumni EDMAT 29. Kapan gw bisa ketemu mereka lagi, dan bukannya sekedar say hello di fs?
Gw harap saat itu tiba, saat dimana gw bisa ketemu mereka lg..

PS.
Buat yg berminat,,you can contact me for further informations.
Ato kalo ga,hubungin PD 1 FT UNDIP.

October 11, 2008

a new life


it's me again..

this month, I've spent much time for writing in this blog..dunno, I have a feeling that I'll have less time for blogging after starting my new life..
I'll go to Jakarta today,in next two hours. It scares me..
mungkin, cuma orang - orang pengecut aja yang takut buat memulai sesuatu yang baru, dan even I hate being called as a loser, I'm still frightened.
gw masih bertanya - tanya aja, bakal jadi apa hidup gw disana, kayak gimana keseharian gw yang bakal beda jauh sama hari - hari gw ke belakang..

Mingu - minggu ini penuh sama perasaan gelisah. I can't concentrate of everything, be unfocused, pessimistic. I didn't show it to anyone, I denied this feeling, but it was there. Ada ngehantuin pikiran gw.. As I said before, human can easily be influenced by their own mind. today, I only have negative thinking in my mind, and it says that I can't through it all.

Silly..
Padahal gw sering nasihatin orang tentang being positive, trust ourselves, being confident, hahaha.. gw sendiri ga bisa netapin itu hari ini..
Gw capek banget.. Mobilitas gw akhir2 ini padat banget.. Gw baru kemaren nyampe dari Semarang, sekarang harus pergi lagi ke Jakarta..
Packing and unpacking has been my life for this week. Capek banget. I'm doing everything alone, and it makes me nervous.
I've been trapped in my own emotion, my PMS, geez...it's easier to run..
ga tau, kenapa tiba - tiba jadi manja..
helluw,ini Jakarta gitu.. ga lebih jauh dari Semarang. I can go home whenever I want (of course I won't, kayak ntar kalo udah kerja, bisa cabut kapan aja..)

Gw malu ngeluh terus, gw malu jadi lemah kayak gini.. I should thankful for everything. Sometimes, people never be thankful and always ask for more. I don't wanna be kinda it. Gw mau terus maju, meski gw ga tau ada apa di hadapan gw..
gw pingin trus semangat, walo hari - hari gw ga bakal kayak dulu lagi.
I've wondering kapan ya gw bisa ngisi blog gw dengan sesuatu yang lebih ceria??
Akhir - akhir ini kayaknya isinya sendu, melankolis,hehe..ga banget deh pokoknya!!
hope I'll gonna keep writing, still in this way, and always be myself in my new life..

October 09, 2008

Au revoir! See u later!

Here I am,sitting on the bus which taking me home.. I really GO HOME for now,which means I've done with my college's life,back to my home for a while,and preparing my new life in our country's capital.. It's so hard..there's no farewell,I just sent few messages to my closest friends..
Always hard to say goodbye,although it doesn't mean that we won't meet again..but,y'know..things'll never be the same again.. I've been living my 4 years-college life with them,can't imagine how life would be without them..
Basecamp guys,basecamp girls..I am missing them now..only God know how much I love,how much I care..sounds childish,but hope there's a way for us living like this forever!

Andesit,the other reason of my sadness today..
Honestly,I feel absurds. The thing is his existence influences me much. I used to be with him,and it will need hard adaptation to make myself common of his absent.
Dunno what'll happen,and how long it takes,but I'll try..simple,because I love him..

Leaving my boarding home,where I've stayed for 2 years,gives me a consious that I'll face new life (u can read at my two last blogs)


I am watching outside my window. Things are running behind fast,my bus is taking me away from this city,from all memories,all silly things in past..
I'll be moving foward,to my future,outta this city..
Maybe I'll come back,
Someday,

So... 'til we meet again?

October 08, 2008

It's raining outside,quite hard..it was very hard exactly,like a storm,I am serious..lotsa fallen trees along my way to campus,even it's forbidden to anyone who like coming towards..
Like a weirdo,I ran outside my boarding home,got through a rain,
I am not kinda person who adores rain.. I hate being wet,esp.my feet..ergggh!my mum asked me buying her batagor,geez..where d hell I'll going to find that?!
Admitting some voice who forced me to stay,I went and looked for it..
Even we--my boy and I-- used car (btw,thx to andesit's dad who lend me his car),not motorcycle like we used to be,we still got wet!
Rain came through our car's window,sprinkled,and I felt I was running outside,damn!

I blamed my mum,her jerk request,it was very difficult looking foward batagor in after Lebaran-day like this!

Finally..we didn't find it!
I bought my mum bread,made sure for myself that she would understand..

Huh,know what's going on?she even didn't remember ordering that BATAGOR!
Geez!
After all sacrifies... I dunno what to say,my mother is windy person..

October 07, 2008

Jealousy..Goals must be created!

let's creating goals!!!

once I was reading very great blogs, futagoza by sherina munaf and brainstorm by eva celia lesmana..

Weeew... I was shocked!!!
No way, what a damn perfect English!!!
I envy them...especially Eva Celia.. (visit her blog, you can find it in mine, I've made a link). How come a 15 years old girl could write narration like that!!! So deep, full of very complicated vocab, it is very unusual!!

Hehehe... I'm a little bit jealous.. They--two girls above--must be influenced by situation around. C'mon, nowadays, what things that couldn't be got by socialite like them???
he, I'm a little bit jealous..I don't blame anything or anyone, just feel any regret, why didn't I try harder then?? I've been facilitated, but I was quite calm. I had no ambition, no spirit being a better person.. I just felt everything was quite good enough..

I was wrong.. Everyone says that I am good in English, so talented, but see the two young lady!!! How great they are!! I can't be compared with them, and it's my fault..
So, let's creating our own goals from now! Don't be afraid to imagine as high as you can.. most important is you've thought about it..writing them down is the 1st step..and you know, thousands steps is started by a small 1st step..

what's your goal???
let's think about it from now..

October 06, 2008

Last night in the greatest room ever..

Breathless...

It's ending of a journey,
My own journey..
Lying on my bed in Semarang, I'm typing on my cell phone,writing this blog while thinking..
There were many things have been happened.. Sad, happy, guilty..
Love, hate, so much emotion I've already feel here..
My room in Semarang isn't quite big...
Even you can call it small..
But,dare me,I feel no place could give any safety or comforty like here..

I'll be missing this place..
Honestly, I'm missing it now..
On my own ego, I don't wanna let it go..
I juz wanna being here, here in my usual place, place which needn't any adaptation or explanation..

I dunno, but I have to go,
Leaving all these things away.. It really makes me senseless.. Do I do the right way?

I'm sick of these whole moving things!
I've already packed.. My room is so messy now,it's full of many packs..
My mother is here,sitting next to me,but she says nothing,,
Perhaps she thinks that I can through it all alone,but I don't think so..

Man grows, people change..
Like or dislike, I have to leave.. Noone force me, it should come from my own consious, that I must go on, no matter what will be leaved..

I'm gazing at my trapesium ceiling.. It's full of dust and spider's web..
I'll be missing my ceiling..
Nope, I'm not kidding.. It has been 2 years,so riddiculous,if you say we-me and my room-aren't mean to be..
We've been tied up to a bond..something I can't understand..

Realize this room will be someones someday,it hurts me..
Say I am so dramatic,yup,I am Mrs.Drama Queen,but nothing can change my feeling tonight..

I see my mother..
She seems sleepy.. She says,'gosh dela..put your cell phone,please..go to sleep,it's already night'

It seems I must end this up..