April 22, 2017

Ini baru pertengahan April.. tapi April terasa amat melelahkan. Zafran sudah dua kali sakit dan dua kali ke dokter... yang pertama radang dan yang kedua batuk. Untungnya (orang Indonesia selalu ada aja untungnya) sakit yang kedua doski masih aktif dan banyak makannya.. waktu radang dia literally makan cuma sesuap dua suap dan sepanjang hari tiduran aja di tempat tidur. Lebih lelahnya lagi waktu Zafran batuk, saya ikut tumbang karena flu. Mas Ro pun turun tangan pulang ke rumah untuk ngejagain saya dan Zaf, untungnya lagi flu saya ga berlangsung lama. Eh.. selesai saya flu, giliran mas Ro flu. Rasanya ga ada hentinya sih.

Bulan ini juga kami berdua memutuskan untuk mencari second opinion tentang kondisi Zaf. Jadi waktu Zaf dua tahun, doski divonis speech delayed oleh dokter rekam medik di RSIA Hermina. Sekarang sudah satu tahun terapi memang sudah banyak perkembangan sih untuk bicaranya, cuma saya masih khawatir karena tingkat konsentrasi dan kemampuan berinteraksi Zafran rendah sekali. Akhirnya saya dan suami memutuskan untuk mengikuti assessment di salah satu therapy center, tujuannya buat cari second opinion saja sih. Hasilnya sih Zafran kurang lebih sama.. Zafran memiliki speech delayed in absentia, intinya karena kurangnya tingkat konsentrasi. Terapinya ditambah disini.. dari yang awalnya sejam seminggu... jadi enam jam seminggu! Mudah-mudahan anaknya enjoy dan gak capek ya..

Anyway.. setelah sekian lama ga bisa kemana-mana karena sibuk ngurusin renovasi rumah.. suami cuma bisa pulang wiken dan wiken itulah akhirnya yang bisa dipake buat urus dan evaluasi tukang dan progress, akhirnya kemarin secara dadakan kita memutuskan untuk ke Bandung. Alasan terbesar sih karena minggu depan kita mau pergi berdua, jadi biar gak merasa bersalah banget sama anak, hihi..

Kita menginap di salah satu bnb di daerah Dago Atas, namanya Budaraa. Bentuknya sembilan paviliun yang mengelilingi rumah utama, kita sendiri tinggal di paviliun 6. Bnbnya menyenangkan sekali! Lokasinya memang sedikit jauh dari pusat kota, tapi ga masalah untuk kami karena memang tujuan kami mau ke Lembang. Tempatnya adem sekali, hijau banyak pepohonan, enak untuk jalan-jalan secara Zafran senang sekali jalan-jalan, ada dapur, kasur luaaaas, dan yang paling pentig affordable!

Kita bertiga ga kemana-mana kecuali ke De Ranch, karena memang tujuan liburan kali ini buat menyenangkan Zafran. Syukurlah anaknya juga hepi. Bapak ibuknya encok ngasuh. Hahaha..

February 23, 2017

Today started good. Planned to go to my best friend's house to pick my order (she cooks well, today's order is dendeng batokok). Turned out my mom had a day off so she offered me to babysit Zaf while I was away. Finally could have time off from mothering. Yay. Arrived early so I decided to put my car at car wash. Breakfast with cheesse croissant, glad Eno loved lemon cheese cake I brought for her. Had a good talk, good gossips (hah!). She made me a cup of nice coffee, said it was Palu Coffee. I rarely drink black, so suprised it was so good. When lunch time came, we decided to go out and suddenly went to Cipanas. Unplanned. Had a niiiiiice tasty sate kambing dan sop kambing.. geez that was the best. We went to FO after. And groceries shopping after. Basically it was good day.

Then, when I was going home, I hit a motorcycle. I am trying not to be a jerk here, but he turned without signing first. Geez. Thankfully, we were all good. Then I arrived at home. And I hit my home wall. Accidentally. What the hell. Geez.

And now I am having mood again. The good day.. poof! Gone.

So now I am going to make a toast with thick nutella spread. Screw diet. Screw today. Tomorrow I am gonna regret it. But now, chocolate please.

February 07, 2017

So..

I've had an awful morning. Suddenly son started crying loud when we arrived at his playgroup. It's been three days and I still had no idea why, it was fine before. When I left him, he was bawling his eyes out and called my name over and over. Geez.

It changed my all day mood. So, I decided to write good things happen today instead and hope things will get better.

1. Sunshine! It's been raining and gloomy and dark most of these day.. so sunshine is very welcomed. I could finish my laundry well and run a while.

2. Had a nice coffee. Son got better when I picked him up, so I decided to take him to coffee shop when he could enjoy his spaghetti while I enjoyed mine.

3. Now.. while I am writing this, he just asleep. It means I have approximately an hour free. Let's take a rest!

January 10, 2017

Promise

When I was a little kid, I think my family and I never ever went out together or had vacation. Maybe money was issue, but we even didn't go to city park or swimming pool, which I am pretty sure we could afford back then. I had no memory of us doing grocery shopping or eating out together. I remember I was asking about this to my brother and he echoed what I said. Never ever. Of course there were visits to our distant relatives out of town, but that was it. Mandatory visits.

So yes, I blame it to my dysfunctional parents. I know there are many things that we should be grateful of, yadda, yadda... but still, when I still wake up while my son was sleeping beside me, I made promise. He deserves better. Weekend at swimming pool, eating ice cream after. Going out to the park and playing ball. Groceries shopping at the nearest supermarket. Things I've never experienced myself.

January 09, 2017

Today is.

I thought today would be hard. Zafran's back to school after two weeks holiday. Wake up early, my son was asleep, how couldn't he? Last night, we just fell asleep at 11 pm. Overstimulated weekend. And by we, I mean Zafran and my husband, while I couldn't sleep until 00.30 am.

But, it turned out to be easy morning. Yes, waking up Zaf almost seemed like a miracle, but finally he wake up at 7, took a bath without complaint and spent a bowl of oatmeal with peas and carrots! Even, it won't be this easy in an ordinary day. We took off at 7.30, said goodbye and I went on my run.

It was good run. I took two weeks hiatus during school break, because I literally had no time for myself while taking care of my son. Had a nice coffee after, downloaded second episode of Sherlock, scrolled internet, read about Golden Globes. Meryl. Viola. RYAN GOSLING AND EMMA STONE. Ryan Renolds and Andrew Garfield kiss. Hugh Laurie. Tom Hiddleston. So many feelings.

Took off from Zaf's school at 11, and he looked tired and sleepy, he didn't even have lunch and went straight to bed. I watched Sherlock while cooking chicken and string beans. That was an insane episode, geez.

So, today is good day after all. Yes, in the afternoon I was so tired, but after all it is a good day.

January 04, 2017

Last Vacation in 2016

We had pretty nice and laidback vacation in December. It's unprepared and sudden, we just booked our apartment via airbnb a day before. We didn't have proper itinerary and my husband doubt our rental apartment, just because we never went to bagian utara Jakarta before. I had a gut, a good one, about this place, but we had no idea it turned out to be better than we thought.

It was our first experience using Airbnb, simply because I would like to have kitchen in our vacation, so I could prepare something easy and simple for Zafran. Some hotels has kitchen in it, but we cannot afford the rate. Fortunately, our host was wonderful, the apartment was clean, nice and comfortable. You can find him in Airbnb using name Wolfry. Sorry, too lazy to find a link.

At first, we thought of Bandung. But everyone went to Bandung, we couldn't imagine how packed it would be. Then, husband should come to office in Tuesday, so Jakarta it is. We planned to go to Sea World, and Taman Mini, maybe to Ragunan or IKEA?

Turned out our apartment is located near Baywalk Mall and the ambiance is pretty good. Zaf looooved walking in their awesome park (it's so beautiful), and I loved walking inside the mall (of course). Many restaurants inside and outside the mall, so in the end, we had a laid back staycation and didn't go anywhere beside Sea World.

At the last day, we went to Kuntum Farmfield in Bogor, it was our third time so I let my husband and son went inside while I was waiting outside.

It was pretty good... hopefully we'll experience better one in 2017.

Happy New Year, you all!

October 28, 2016

Feeling so low today. Zafran's been sick for two days now and it's last day of my help working here. She's been with us since I don't know... two years ago? It's been up and down with her, but I made commitment to take care of my son by myself... so yeah. I have no idea that my life will turns out like this, dramatically. I have a dream, big dream, but now... let's enjoy this silence for a while. I think maybe it will help me to recognize myself as a human being, as a mother and as a wife. I promise that I will help, help and help a lot people as much as I can, as many as possible. With God's will, insha Allah.

October 10, 2016

Jujur aja, saking lamanya (walaupun posting terakhir baru bulan Juni sik) ngga nulis disini, memulai lagi itu seperti lagi menjemput sesuatu di dunia lain (cue to Stranger Things, have you watched it? It's so awesome!) A LOT of THINGS have changed lately, dan jujur menulis blog itu berubah dari suatu kesenangan menjadi suatu kewajiban. It's getting so bad, isn't it? June and July this year is been the worst, I am crying a lot, I am cursing a lot, but in the end I am starting to think and contemplate. I have no idea whether I've discussed this thing here, but being adult, you have sooo many responsibilities, it's sometimes overwhelming you. Bills, kids, parents, money, money, money... In the end, tau sih, ya udahlah ya jangan dipikirin, dijalanin aja. I know, I know, but sometimes, it makes you wonder how tiring it is, right? Or it's just me?

Jadi, kabar terbarunya, saya officially udah jadi ibu rumah tangga! Yay? A lot of consideration being put to this decision, especially when you are not born with silver spoon. A lot of what if, and scary thought, dan ini dan itu. Belum lagi banyak pihak yang tidak mendukung (I know, as my husband said, udahlah gak usah terlalu didengerin, yang penting kan aku mendukung, but stiiiill...), tetapi kondisinya udah gak bagus lagi. Dan, alasan nomor satu saya berhenti kerja, bukan karena anak looooh. Hahaha, yes, mengasuh anak sendiri played big part in my decision, but my number one reason is I am so tired. Don't start me with kerja itu memang capek, karena yes it is, but this thing had eaten me up until I couldn't breathe. Padahal pada dasarnya saya suka sekali kerja loh. Anyway, no need to explain lah ya, intinya hello jobless.

Jadi gimana? Hahahha, the useless feeling is unbearable! Belum sampai ke tahapan bosan sih (some of my friends said that I am going to feel bored eventually) karena selalu aja ada yang dikerjain setiap hari. Yah namapun ibu dengan satu toddler ya, what do you expect? Buuut, the useless feeling... oh God, I knoooow that we, mother, is the key to our child's future, that you do a very important job to raise your child well, and bla bla bla, but still. I am not feeling THAT important. Some post power syndrome? I used to deal with important client, managing their credit line, even decided whether we're gonna to give them billions to improve their business, but now all I have to do is preparing weekly menu and my kid lunches (which is still hard for me you know, because I really have nooo idea to do it before. Sop lagi sop lagi. Bayem lagi bayem lagi. Ha)

Buuut, as my husband pointed me (he's the best. Really) my condition is getting better nowadays. I am starting to laugh again. I rarely cry. My patience is in high limit now. Iya sih, harus saya akui, bisa tidur delapan jam itu is a great deal. Selain itu saya bisa melakukan banyak hal yang ngga bisa saya lakukan saat kerja. There is always bright side I guess, bagaimanapun ini keputusan yang saya ambil dan konsekuensinya harus saya hadapi bukan?

Soooo, what now? Yah, nikmatin dulu aja sambil leyeh-leyeh nonton series yang dari dulu dikumpulin terus-terusan tapi gak pernah ditonton-tonton. Say hello to Tom Hiddleston in The Night Manager please!


PS. Minggu kemarin, saya nonton Athirah, film terbarunya Miles dan Riri Riza. It's good in its own way, dan walaupun ada beberapa scenenya yang bikin gregetan abis, karakter Athirah ini bikin malu banget deh kalo misalnya lagi galau kelamaan. Watch it, it's so good.